knockings.

today was full of suprises. good and bad. where do i start. at the beginning i suppose.

the fights  begun when i told him that i dont want to apply for medicine anymore. it seems that i have no aim in life.so what if i changed my mind about what i want. doesnt everyone else think its a good idea. i just feel so hollow cos of this.

the guy i wanted to poke fun at has become my friend.

the friends i thought i had lost has found themselves in my good list.

the story’s are driving me mad.

the essay is not perfect.

if life is a bed of roses,i am being  stunk by the thorns right now.

if there be a light at the end of the tunnel, silver lining around the dark cloud,please start shining now.

i am afraid i am beginning to lose hope- something that i have never done before.

also my old fear has returned.i have always felt that i would die before i was 21. i dont know why it is this number. i always felt that i wouldnt live long. its insane. and today i just realised that i will turn 19. 2 yrs left.